How cool is this?

June 27, 2003 02:34:52 PM

Happy Birthday, Michael! I learned a new skill this morning while driving the girls to the babysitter's house--bottle feeding while driving. It was already a muggy, hazy 80 degrees outside and Jordan was screaming for her bottle, so I leaned back and held the bottle for her with one hand while steering with the other hand. This morning, Jordan was velcro-baby. She was fussy and she wouldn't let me put her down. When I tried to hand her over to Brianna so that I could get dressed, she clung to me like a bug and squealed. She is beginning to get hip to our morning routine of me dropping her off with the sitter, and she doesn't like it. This morning I listened to her cry as I walked away towards my car and it broke my heart to leave her so upset. Leila stood in the window and waved, looking pitifully sad as well. She gets so upset when Jordan cries.

As I was riding the Metro this morning, a pretty, young girl sat down beside me and I happened to glance down at her feet as I was putting my book back into my bag. Her toenails were ornately painted with an intricate design in pretty colors. I sighed and thought wistfully about the days when I had time to get my toes done. I looked down at my feet and I saw mommy-looking feet. Toenails unpainted and in need of a manicure, and comfortable rather than stylish sandals on feet that could use some lotion.

I may not be a sexy little thing any more, but I'm holding it together. I am proud to say that I am wearing a size 12 khakis that are actually a little bit loose on me. I'm feeling good because Jordan is sleeping better these days. I am happy and blessed and comfortable in my skin as a 36-year-old mama with a loving husband and a happy family. I am thankful to God for all that he has blessed me with and for all that he has yet to do in me.

June 24, 2003 01:46:03 PM

There are two birthdays in the office today, so last night I baked a double chocolate cake to bring in. I won't be eating any of it, of course, but it came out absolutely beautifully. I have to pass through airport-level security to get into my building each morning, so when I was sending my items through the metal-detector, I joked to one of the guards and assured him that there was no file in the cake. He asked me how I knew it was his birthday.

On the weekend, Daryll took us over to the eastern shore again. I went back to the little art supply shop that we discovered last time and bought some more carving medium. I have already carved up all that I bought last time.

I have been writing almost every day now whenever I get the chance. I found a great web site called faithwriters.> It's a community of Christian writers where you can post articles, poetry, devotions and get feedback from other writers as well as exposure to publishers and editors. I'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me here. So far everyone seems friendly and open. I've posted two articles and I'll see what happens as I continue to write.

June 18, 2003 03:56:20 PM

I have not been keeping up with my blog as much as I'd like to these days. I've been so busy trying to get myself together to apply to grad school, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen right now. I am now prayerfully seeking what God would have me to do, and I have been writing. When I began my soul-searching I asked myself what my ideal job would be. Completely indulging myself, I ultimately came to the realization that my goal is to make my living by my writing. God has given me this talent and passion for words and I have not been using and developing these gifts as I should. Further examination revealed that I am afraid to step out there and to offer up my words to the possible criticism of editors. Having this blog was sort like me poking my big toe in the pool. I'm in the deep end now and feeling comfortable and welcomed by those who read and respond to my work. As God has not given me a spirit of fear, it behooves me to step out on faith and be prepared to risk rejection in order to move on to the next level. It's funny but just writing this has helped me to see that I have been the only one holding me back from becoming a successful writer. A writer writes as they say, but I must also get out there and submit my work.

While I continue to seek God's plan for my life, I will keep writing and see what happens.

June 16, 2003 09:19:33 PM

When I went to Sam's to pick up the set of golf clubs that I had chosen for Daryll's Father's Day gift and they were sold out. I was crushed and in a panic. I didn't have time to go back to the drawing board. Strolling through the cavernous aisles I found a cool computer desk. It was one of those build-it-yourself kits, which I knew he'd enjoy assembling. While I'm sure he would have preferred the golf clubs, he is right now humming as he puts it together. We had a nice Father's Day, and I am so thankful to God for blessing me with a wonderful man who is a great father.

I called back home and spoke to my pappa and wished him a Hapy Father's day. I got to talk to my sisters and my brother as well. I miss them so much, but I think I've finally made the transition because I'm no longer feeing homesick for Cambridge.

June 11, 2003 02:49:22 PM

Yesterday I discovered a little oasis amongst the chaos of downtown. General Pershing Park is a tiny little island on Pennsylvania Avenue, which is surrounded by trees and has a huge pool and fountain in the center. The bottom of the shallow reflecting pool is covered with a slimy green algae, so when you look out across all you see is the green-looking water and the green trees blowing in the breeze. It's quite a lovely little spot. When I sat down some little birds came popping up incredibly close to me and not at all fearful. They lingered around a bit with theirs moths open, so I'm thinking that people feed them here depsite the signs that say don't feed the animals. It was so nice to sit and feel the warm sun on my skin after weeks and weeks of rainy days on end.

I am learning firsthand what it means to submit to my husband, and its not an easy thing for me to do. I have been single and independant for so long. I remember when I was a single girl and I wanted to make plans with one of my sisters or a married friend. They would always say, "I need to check with my husband first." This irritated me to no end. I was so glad to be free to make my own plans and go wherever I wanted. Now that I am married I have to learn that I must defer to my husband as the leader of our household. We've got a kind of snarly issue that we are dealing with right now. The other day I mentioned to him that I really want to enroll in a graduate program this September. I have been planning to get my Master's degree ever since I completed my Bachelor's degree ten years ago, but life seems to have always gotten in the way. When he and I met, I was actually applying to graduate school. I put off going in order to marry him. Now we are married and Jordan is six months old and taking a bottle. I want to seize this time and just get it done. He, however, really wants to buy a new car. We have been getting by with just the one car while I was home, but now that I am working, he wants to go ahead and get a new car. We can't afford for me to go to grad school and pay another car note and insurance. I look at pursuing my Master's degree as an investment in my future earning power. When I complete my MBA, I will be able to earn more than twice what I'm earning today. We are still working it out, and this is an issue that we did discuss in pre-marital counseling. It's just so hard for me to hold my tongue and not just go out and register regardless of how he feels. I am praying that God will reveal what is best for me and my family in this situation.

June 07, 2003 07:35:48 PM

It's raining horses and goats! All day we have had torrential downpours and I'm so sick of this rain I could just scream. It's kind of warm out, so it feels damp and muggy and let's just say I'm not having an especially good hair day. (sniff, sniff) Daryll is away on Navy Reserves this weekend, so I'm home with the girls without a car. We're just chillin' in the house today. I got some cleaning done and some sewing done, and now Jordan and I are watching TV in the basement. Actually, Jordan is crawling all over the place and I keep dragging her back to the blanket that I have spread on the floor.

She is finally feeling better. I had to stay home from work with her yesterday because she was sick. She had a fever off and on all day. I think that one of the immunizations she got on Thursday might not be sitting well with her. She is now 16lbs. 40z. and 26" long. I knew that she was gaining weight because we had to move up to size 3 diapers.

Last night we left Jordan and Leila with Daryll's mom so that we could attend Brianna's award ceremony for her track team. She got an armload of trophies and ribbons and she read her essay in front of the audience. She is so poised and confident about public speaking. I told her that most people have a fear about speaking in front of groups, so her writing and speaking skills should serve her well in her life.

June 04, 2003 04:52:19 PM

OK, I know I'm whining, but Oh my goodness I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't start getting a full night's sleep! Jordan is almost seven months old and she sleeps like a newborn! I get up bleary-eyed and exhausted, and cranky because I am so ___ sleepy. We have anappointment with her pediatrician tomorrow, and I'll ask her again what I am doing wrong. On our last visit she said "just don't let her nap after 3:30 in the afternoon." But have you ever tried to keep a sleepy baby from falling asleep? It's as hard as getting a fussy baby to go to sleep. So I exist in this fuzzy, always tired state and I don't know how long I can function this way.

I have been feeling considerable eyestrain recently, so I went to the eye doctor today and she gave me a perscription for slight magnification for close work. I've never worn glasses before, so this should be interesting. I'm on my way to pick them up now.

June 02, 2003 06:45:03 PM

Happy June!

It's been over a week since I've blogged because my life has just been so busy. Now that I am on the computer full time at work, when I get home, the last thing that I want to do is sit down at the computer these days. This evening I had to move the pile of clothes that has grown on my computer chair in order to get to the computer. I have been writing a lot in my paper journal, so I guess I just have not felt moved to blog. Hmmm. I did miss visiting my friend's blogs and see what's going on in their lives. I think that's one of my favorite aspects of blogging--making friends around the country and even the world and getting a peek into their lives.

Anyway, I'm learning Dreamweaver at work, which is fun. I'm and old-school gal because I do my HTML by hand. With powerful software like Dreamweaver, one could whip up a web page almost without knowing a lick of HTML. I'm looking forward to learning FLash and learning more about databases.

I had an epiphany on the train on the way home tonight. I am going to find a good online Master's program and enroll in my first class before the end of this year. I will put it off no longer. I'm not getting any younger and this is a goal that will improve my life, so I'm going for it.

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