As I look at how challenging it is to job hunt from a distance, I think that I will send my resume to some temp agencies and temp for awhile and get my feet on the ground before I try to find a permanent position. Coming to this decision has given me a bit of peace. I have so many other things going on in my life right now, and temping is a good way to get the lay of the land and help me to be able to decide where I'd want to work.

Once again I'm scrambling to get ready for Leila's birthday. In the car on the way to work today, she informed me that she wants lots of new toys and a new 'big-girl' bike. She also wants a Pocahontas video. This child has very expensive demands. We will have a nice little celebration and she will be pleased. Leila will be four years old, and leaving toddlerhood behind. She is a big girl now, and she wants to learn to read and write letters. She is no longer a baby, but a little person trying to find her place in the world. I love to watch how she learns and grows each day. She overhears so much more than I realize and understands more than I think she does. I must be more aware of what influences her and purposefully fill her with the love and knowledge of God. She is my special blessing, and I look forward to her growing into a wonderful woman who does incredible things for God and for this world.

02:27:02 PM

My step-mom and I went shopping today and we bought the flower-girl dresses and gloves. We already have their baskets, and I am going to make little garlands for their heads with ivy and flowers and trailing ribbons. I also found the little picture frames that we will use for the table numbers. I plan to make the place cards myself and place them on a table by the entrance to the reception hall. As the guests come into the room, they will recieve a place card with their table number marked on it. So, we will assign certain people to certain tables, but they can seat themselves where they choose to at each table.

We went to the party supply place and priced the dishes and silver. We are going to be catering the food ourselves, which should be interesting. But we have lots of help, and I think it should be fun. I need to get the supplies for the favors, which my mom will be making. The favor is a spoon with a Hershey's Kiss on it wrapped in a little tulle lace circle tied in a ribbon with a little card that says, "A spoonful of kisses from the Mister and Misses!" It will have our names and the date and it will be a little keepsake. We will also have wedding bubbles rather than have the guests throw rice at us. I am so excited I can't stand it! This is our wedding! I am going to be the bride and I am going to marry the most wonderful man in the world. I am a blessed child of God!"

March 18, 2002 04:53:41 PM

I have received word that the Italian silk fabric for my gown has finally arrived. Daryll and I went ring shopping this weekend, and dealt with a lot of wedding/reception planning details. Accomodations for out-of-town guests are going to be a little tight as I have discovered that the weekend of May 18th is a graduation weekend in this area. Ooops! Now we need to scramble and remind folks to get their reservations in right now.

I am excited that our wedding day is quickly approaching. I will be even more thrilled when our housing situation is worked out. We are believing that God is going to provide for us, and Daryll is working feverishly to push the financing through. I am beginning to pack up my things in faith that we will have some place to move after the wedding. It will be interesting to see how this all works out.

March 13, 2002 09:33:17 AM

This morning when I arrived at the babysitter's house, she came into the living room half stooped over and looking very greenish. While I removed Leila's coat and mittens she had to quickly get up and run to the bathroom to toss her cookies (vomit). When she had cleaned herself up she came back and said that she was not feeling well. I proceeded to put Leila's coat back on her and bring her with me to work. I wanted the sitter to be able to get some rest, and I did not want to expose Leila to whatever illness she might have. So, I am here at work trying to get a little bit of work done while my energetic toddler bounces around and chants, "I want to help you, mommy." We visited pbskids.org and printed off a few pages of cartoon characters for her to color in with crayons. My step-mom will arrive soon and pick her up and bring her home, but in the meantime I'm just chilling. God bless my step-mother.

March 10, 2002 07:24:06 AM

Later in the afternoon we walked and Leila rode her now scooter to the park. The park is about a block form the river, and its always about five degrees cooler down there and the breeze is stronger. I sat and Brianna worked on some homework and I knitted on another pair of socks for my sweetie. We watched Leila run and play with the other little kids. She is so incredibly outgoing, and far too friendly for my liking. She will walk right up to someone and introduce herself and after that its like they are old friends or something. When Brianna was a toddler she was painfully shy. When we'd go to the park she never got out of my sight and she'd keep running back to "check on me." I believe that if I had gotten up to leave the park, Leila wouldn't notice for quite awhile.

March 8, 2002 09:29:37 PM

I have found it rather challenging to look for a job in another city. I have no connections there other than my new family, so its a little bit like flying blind. I am just trusting that God has it all in control, and He will not allow me to fall into the wrong position. When I moved back here to the Boston area from the west coast, it was a similar kind of thing. I had not lived here since I was a child, so everything was new. The transition was not easy, but I got over it and now I feel right at home. I know the same will be the case for me now, but still there is that general trepidation about the unknown.

What I want to focus on right now is the prospect that I will be spending the rest of my life with a wonderful man that I love. We will merge our families and be happy and blessed. Thoughts like these are what is getting me through the chaos of leaving my old, comfortbale, predictable life behind.

March 4, 2002 03:27:02 PM

Mona found the reception centerpieces, which are topiaries made from silk flowers and ivy with sheer ribbon bows. At the same time, my mom found some little glass bud vases for the table centerpieces. My mom has been asking for more to do with the wedding planning, and I really need to be mindful of balancing my step-mothers exuberance and her expertise as a wedding planner, and my mom, who lives an hour away in NH and her desire to be more involved in the wedding planning than she feels right now. Lord, give me wisdom and strength and do not allow me to hurt anyone's feelings. . .